close your precious eyes and just realize i'm still fighting
by myst469
Summary: Hanahaki Byou- A disease of the human system that cough up flowers due to severe one-sided love. Its infection route is through contact with vomited flowers. In order to fully recover the disease, the one's love must be fulfilled.


_Hanahaki Byou_

 _A disease of the human system that cough up flowers due to severe one-sided love. Its infection route is through contact with vomited flowers. In order to fully recover the disease, the one's love must be fulfilled._

I.

It's the most dangerous illness that humanity has ever encountered, yet at the same time it's the easiest to cure, logically. Up to this day, many scientists are still astounded at this disease. Scientifically, it's impossible to make someone vomit flowers. There's no reasoning in how petals could come up from the digestive system especially if the person didn't even consume one. It cracks down every cemented fact they once thought about the anatomy of the human body, leaving behind apprehensive men of science and myriads of new tales of tragic romances. Sakura herself is a hopeless romantic but nevertheless, she refuses to believe that the only way to cure such perilous disease is by being loved back. She refuses to accept that this kind of thing exists.

That is until she encounters her first patient who suffers from it.

She grimaces as she sees the flowers come out of the patient's mouth. It looks very painful, she thinks as she watches the patient sleep and his parents cry out their utter despair. She looks over his vitals and discovers that he has no history of any illness nor does his family. If it wasn't for this, he is a healthy, normal man with a promising future ahead of him. His mother then babbles on how hardworking he is, how much effort he puts into his job as a teacher and how plainly unfair the world is for giving this to _him_ to all people. His father on the other hand, remains silent but sturdy by his side, acting as their pillar.

It is unfair, she thinks as she offers no words to the bawling mother with sky blue eyes, who grips her coat a bit too tightly, begging her to do something. But she can't. She can't do anything.

"Mom, I'll be alright…" He says to the lady and a petal falls, as if it was a drop of tear. She hiccups and continues sobbing.

"Why can't you just…confess to her? Find the girl. Maybe…Maybe you'll become better once you do." His father urges him.

Another petal falls to the ground as he smiles sadly and replies, "I doubt he'll feel the same way."

"How unfair," she whispers after leaving the room solemnly. How unfair to have people depend on love for their life. How unfair that lives are on the line all because of someone not loving someone back. How unfair that despite the technological advances, there is nothing that can stop love, there is nothing that can stop a force of nature once it has started. How unfair that other people might not even get the chance to be saved because of shallow things.

II.

She opens up to Chiyo-baasama, an old lady who once took care of her and still loves her like her own. She tells her how sick and cruel the world is for doing giving them this. She is a raging flurry of hurt, despair and anger after that encounter last week but Chiyo-baasama just smiles like the old tree of wisdom she is.

"You must be talking about Hanahaki Byou then."

"Hana—what?"

"Hanahaki Byou," Chiyo starts off and Sakura knows that this will be interesting. Chiyo always tells interesting stories. "Actually, this disease isn't new. It has existed for a long, long time. As you know, being an old crone has its perks. I've once read an anecdote about it. It has been in the world since the Muromachi Era but has only dominated the world today. For whatever reasons, I don't know. No one probably will. In that book, I've read that the reason people cough up petals of flowers is because they are experiencing extremely painful one-sided love…."

"And the only way to cure it is if the patient's love is fulfilled," Sakura continues, anger in her tone, "But..But what if there is absolutely no way for his or her love to be reciprocated? If people are less inclined to believe in happy-ever-afters nowadays how are we going to cure them? Because honestly, life isn't perfect. You won't always be loved, you won't always get to feel that wonderful feeling of true love. That's why sometimes…you just give up."

"Ah. I see now why this generation is experiencing this too differently that we did. We fight to hold and we fight to let go. Giving up is good sometimes but it depends on the situation," She says and taps Sakura's shoulders, "You're all still young. You have your life ahead of you. Why do you think so cynical? Why are you so jaded? Why do you give up on love just like that? "

Sakura sighs and opts to look at the window beside her. Nothing will do her good if she keeps on being mad.

"Sasori once had that disease you know…"

This catches the pink haired woman's attention. Sasori? She thinks to herself. But she can't imagine Sasori being rejected. The redhead is fairly attractive, if she might say but she'll never say that out loud, charismatic and all in all a decent person. Ignore his weird fixation with puppets and she'll say that he's actually a good catch. Heck she might have seen a few gaggles of girls making googly eyes at him once in his university.

"He threw up red chrysanthemums exactly three days after his parents' funeral. At first I was so distraught. I didn't know what to do. I was panicking until your Ebizo-jiji put me back to reality. _Our_ boy was going to die if I didn't put my act back together. So we searched high and low for every girl who Sasori might love. There were a few girls who were interested in him but it did nothing. Nothing at all. He keeps on vomiting buckets and buckets of flowers that we didn't even need air fresheners to make the room smell clean. We took him to as many doctors we could find but alas, petals still came out of his mouth. We were so convinced that we'll lose him you know? That we'll lose the last semblance of family we had left. So one night, I entered his room and watched him sleep. Then I saw him have a nightmare about his parents. That was when I realized that he wasn't thirsty for romantic love. He wanted the love his parents couldn't give him.

So I stayed with him for the night. And he stayed with us too."

Sakura finally looks at her surrogate grandmother and sees tears in the corner of her eyes. It must be painful for her to tell this but she did. So she moves closer to Chiyo-baasama and puts an arm around her. It's not much but it will do. Love…is a very deep abyss. You might think that you already know everything there is to it but once you fall in, you learn that there's so much more. She doesn't even know that Sasori went through that. Sasori, the somewhat emotionally constipated grandson of Chiyo-baasama, actually got cured of the same disease that got thousands in hospitals.

But not everyone can be as kind and loving as Chiyo-baasama. If the world is that beautiful, then it is as cruel too. Some just aren't lucky enough to be given love and some are just harsh enough to not share their love. That's why for the sake of the unfortunate, she will find a medicine. She will make one.

III.

With Hinata, it starts with a single yellow tulip petal that she almost chokes on. After rubbing the back of the shy girl in comfort, Sakura couldn't help but sigh. The girl's longtime crush is painfully obvious to almost everyone except for the blonde dunce she calls her friend. Hinata blushes and stammers her explanation. On her sides, Ino and Tenten shakes their head with a small smile.

"Oh Hina," Tenten says as she squeezes the girl's hand, "you know what this means do you?"

Ino ignores her reprimands that she put down the petal that she will use for observation later and continues, "Tsk, tsk, you have to confess to him sooner or later, we wouldn't want that to progress into a more dangerous stage right?"

"B-But, Naruto-kun is a good friend—"

"She's right Hinata," Sakura interrupts and puts a hand on her shoulder, "you know very well that this disease is curable but very much dangerous too if left untreated. I've encountered patients with the same situation of yours but reached…you know what just because they didn't try enough. Most of the patients reached that stage because of lack of trying."

"I-I'll try…" Hinata says, bowing her head to cover the growing blush on her cheeks. She knows she is obvious when it comes to her affections to Naruto-kun but she didn't know she know she was _that_ obvious. Even her friends could tell with a single look on who it is.

"Speaking of Naruto," the pink haired doctor groans as she finds her two idiots lazing around her office, _again_.

"Oh hey Sakura-chan! Oh woah! You're all here! Hey Hinata-chan!" The blonde greets cheerfully, waving his hands in a rather exaggerated but very Naruto style.

"We're here too you know," the other blonde friend of hers quips and rolls her eyes before taking a sit at her couch, which by the way, is supposed to be for her patients and not for friends with too much free time.

"Why are you two here? And didn't I tell you that I'd be busy for today? We got lots of patients in the hospital with this—"

"—flower puking disease rendering the staff exhausted and therefore making the hospital understaff. So I need to hasten my research if we want to cure this as soon as possible. Maybe tomorrow?" Sasuke and Naruto repeat her exact words from yesterday, much to her chagrin, because these two may actually have a chance in beating her in this argument this time considering the extra added backups who are now all sitting in the couch looking at her with _that_ look.

"I can't believe you two managed to scheme something like this." She mutters bitterly and lets herself be dragged away by the group of people she calls her friends.

Sasuke grunts and gives her a pointed look, "You know that we can't let you rot in that office of yours."

"Besides, you said that yesterday and the days before that and the week before that. It gave us time to memorize your tirade Sakura-chan."

"So that's why you guys were here," Sakura glares at them balefully but fails due to the extremely exhausted look she is wearing, "I can't believe you."

"I'm sorry Sakura," Hinata says with a small smile, "we had to do drastic measures."

"Darn right forehead. Have you seen your complexion? Ugh, and those eye bags. That's it! We need to schedule a girl's night." Her other best friend declares and hugs her arm closer.

"But we will eat first right?"

Tenten grins and nods, "Of course, we couldn't go to a spa with empty stomachs you know."

Naruto cheers and Sasuke rolls his eyes beside him while they walk to the nearest restaurant, all thoughts of Hinata's previous situation left behind. That is until midway of their eating, Hinata coughs and sputters three petals this time, making everyone, including the other patrons, stare at her. The moon eyed girl bites her lip, unable to make a strong excuse this time.

"Hey! What are you looking for?!" Naruto yells and the other customers resume their business but there are still some who take a glance every now and then at their table.

"I doubt Neji would appreciate knowing you're sick," is all Sasuke says before he sips his tea.

The whiskered blonde frowns and leans forward, "This is a serious case Hinata-chan, why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you."

Tenten rubs her shoulders comfortingly while Ino remains eerily silent so that leaves Sakura to do all the talking.

"We only found out a while ago and Hinata isn't exactly the most forward girl, no offense though!"

"D-Don't worry Sakura-chan, it's okay and true."

Finally, the other blonde makes her opinion heard as she slams the table, ignoring Sasuke's glare and Sakura's scolding, and states , "Why don't _you_ help her Naruto-kun?"

"Um…is this a trick question or something?"

"Idiot! What made you think that was a trick question?!" Ino huffs and crosses her arms across her chest, "You're the most confident one here, bar Sasuke of course, his confidence levels sometimes reach arrogance levels, but anyway, why can't you help Hinata-chan here to confess to her crush? It wouldn't hurt right?"

"Uh sure? I suppose. We should get started as soon as possible Hinata-chan so you can be cured quickly too."

They all stare at him hopelessly, one thought running through their minds, _how dense could he get?_ Sakura shakes her head and reaches for her tea but then her hand accidentally brushes with the man's beside her. Controlling her will (and her blush) she sips her tea to avoid interrogation from Ino and Tenten later. These kinds of things threaten her iron will. Those little brushes of their hands, the lingering touches, the somewhat deceiving soft looks he gives her, it impends to destroy the cage she made for her troublesome crush for this deviously handsome guy beside her.

"Ack! Look at the time!" She says and tries to gather her things hurriedly but is stopped by the two guys beside her.

"I _need_ to go back to the hospital."

"No Sakura-chan, you _need_ to sleep—"

"I sleep perfectly fine—"

"On a bed and not on the desk," deadpans Sasuke, "you do know you might get drool all over your paperwork."

"I do not drool! And I can always ask to borrow a cot."

Ino glares at her and shakes her head in disapproval, "Don't even try to use Tsunade and Shizune's name. We've gotten their approval that you should take a break. You've been in there for a whole week without going home. Goodness at least you don't smell."

"I still shower thank you very much," she says grumpily, "what is this, pick on Sakura day?"

"I'll make sure Sakura goes home and not back at the hospital." He says it with finality in his tone. She wants to question and retort this back she knows fully well that once Sasuke has decided, he will go through with it, even if it does sound stupid.

"Take care of Sakura-chan bastard or I'll have your hide!" Naruto warns playfully and leaves with the others. Ino sends her a knowing wink, Tenten grins at her and Hinata smiles at her, this is all she needs to confirm her suspicions earlier. I knew it, she thinks as she walks home with the dark-haired man beside her, they planned this from the start. Maybe she could bring four tubs of ice cream the next time they have a sleepover as thanks.

Their trip to her home is blanketed with comfortable silence between them and the only sounds their ears could perceive are the honking of the cars and the noise of the bustling people still alive and awake at this time of the night. She steals a glance at the man beside her when she knows he isn't looking and allows a small and barely noticeable smile to appear on her lips. For this kind of thing to happen, it is rare. Most often, Sakura feels like the odd one out in their three man group, not that she'd admit it in front of anyone. They have this bond that is so preciously them and she knows she can't contest with that. She has accepted that although they both her best friends the friendship between Naruto and Sasuke are on a much deeper level that is somewhat similar to being brothers.

"Well, this is it." That was lame, she thinks to herself. Well can you blame her? What else could she possibly say to him in the midst of this silence?

"Bye Sasuke-kun, thanks for escorting me back home and yeah, goodnight."

Somehow her throat feels parched and her heart is beating too fast to be normal but she doesn't care at all. Because all she could focus on right now is how warm his dark eyes seem to be looking at her, studying her and the soft gesture he makes by tapping her forehead; the same one that she once hated and was the cause of her low self-esteem.

"Take care of yourself." With that, she closes the door and falls down to her knees. Her legs feel like jelly and she is pretty sure that her face is flaming red. Thank goodness it is already dark lest he will see how red her face is.

"Calm yourself Sakura," she whispers to herself, "This will bring you no good and you know that. You have got to stop yourself."

He's leaving for Oto, she reminds herself painfully, and he's leaving soon. Of all the times to rediscover those pesky feelings it just has to be now doesn't it? She bites her lip and counts to ten so she can relax her excited heart and asses her current situation. Sasuke may be a jerk sometimes but when he shows her this side of him, she can't help but fall for him all over again. Scratch that thought out, she has always been in love with him. And if he keeps this going, she doesn't know how much longer the locks she put in her heart can take. She doesn't know how much it will take before the walls she put up will crumble to him. Love is a tricky and cunning thing and sooner or later she might end up showing the whole entirety and intensity of her feelings. And she knows that once she does, she'll be pulled down to earth again. She will fall and it will hurt because she knows that it is impossible for him to return those feelings. If she is certain when he was in their police force then she is much more certain now that he's going to Oto and he's staying there for a long time for this investigation of theirs. He has a lot of things that occupy the space in his heart and she is sure that she is only occupying a tiny amount of space.

Love has never felt so agonizing than before and her heart now throbs in pain. She smiles bitterly and for some reason she does not know, unrequited love tastes like black dahlias.

IV.

Feeling actual love and affection from a person you have accepted as someone who will never do something like that is confusing, painful and frightening.

It's like being placed in a pitch black box filled with liquid and just when she thinks she's about to drown and die, she doesn't. So she stays there thinking and accepting that she is, in fact, dead. But then she is violently pulled out from the box and that's when she knows she wasn't dead, she is very much alive because the pain from the transition of breathing water to air is very, very painful. That's how it feels like to see Sasuke doing all these things for her. She is used to breathing water because of him. She has accepted the fact that her love is one-sided and unrequited. But then comes the day when he does things for her, things that are unlike Sasuke.

His actions may fool a normal person's eye as something friendly but being friends with him for years made her an expert at Sasukenese. The way his hand lingers on hers whenever he passes something to her or whenever she is near him is a subtly sign. His constant soft but small and almost unnoticeable smiles he sends her paints a very red hue on her face. The intensity of his stares whenever they talk is something that makes her heart palpitates so hard that she can practically hear the sounds it makes. And last but not the least; he seems to appear to her almost every day now despite their conflicting schedules and it's what makes her question why he does this because she cannot fathom any reason for him to do this.

This new Sasuke is contradictory and perplexing to what image she has forced unto her heart to restrain herself to falling in love deeper with him. She does not want to fall into an eternal abyss wherein no one will catch her. But despite that, she already has and Sasuke's all to blame for it. So to at least decelerate the rate of her fall, she puts up locks around her heart and places her love somewhere hidden yet at the same time in plain sight.

"What's wrong?" he asks her, settling down the newspaper and then sipping the dark coffee he always orders.

She sighs and gives him her patented _I'm okay_ smile. "Nothing is wrong Sasuke-kun. Just worrying about the hospital, work, you know the usual."

"How is your research going by the way?" He folds his hands in his usual manner, leaning forward as if he is actually interested in what she does for work. But she doubts that reading researches of other researchers and probing organs of dead and alive people will interest him but she relents anyway.

"The same old. But at least we found a major discover in the Hanahaki Byou."

"The what?"

"Hanahaki Byou, it's what we decided to name the disease. I know that it's not creative at all but we had to agree on a name. Since we don't know who actually discovered this disease, we resolved that we should name it literally to avoid confusion. Anyway, we found out that there _is_ a source where the petals come from. According to this one research we got from the records room, which is by the way recorded even during Minato Namikaze's time of presidency, it is located inside the stomach cavity. Removing it shouldn't be much of a problem as Gastrostomy is an accepted form of surgical operation that has been done many times before to both animals and humans.

So they had this patient Sai, I think that was his name, and he was getting worse by the minute. The Mallory-Weiss tears he got from constantly puking flowers finally gave him Boerhaave syndrome. While Boerhaave syndrome usually occurs to bulimic, Sai developed it. It was a good thing he was diagnosed early but he refused treatment. He could have operation if he wanted to but they all knew it was useless. Even if they did manage to patch up his esophagus and stomach, he would experience the same thing all over again because his puking still wasn't cured. So they did the most logical thing they knew back then, remove the source of the petals. The operation was a success but they were surprised at the repercussions it had. After that operation, Sai was literally emotionless. At first they thought he was joking but his brother, Shin, pointed out that Sai had lost his ability to love after being operated. He was saved but at the cost of not experiencing love or not being able to love."

After ending her monologue, she looks at him with a raised brow, "Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

"No, not really at first but I got the gist."

"Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have told you that," she groans and stabs her cheesecake with the fork, "now I feel really dumb babbling like that."

"Not dumb, just dorky."

"Oh shut up," she rolls her eyes and throws a playful glare, "just drink that coffee that's as bitter as your soul."

"Tch, my soul is not _that_ bitter."

"Only a tad bit bitter. Don't worry; we still love you despite that," she eats a small part of her cheesecake and sighs in delight as her taste buds rejoice, "so when will you leave for Oto?"

She can only hope that her voice sounds casual like how she tries to make it be. But even she can find hints of nervousness in her question so she stares at her macchiato like it's the most interesting thing in the world. She hears Sasuke grunt and sip his coffee. The crinkling of the newspaper indicates that he's either putting it down or turning a page. She peeks at him quickly and finds him doing the former.

"Shisui hasn't given me an exact date yet but it will probably soon. He's probably arranging the papers for our indefinite leave and for the witnesses we have to protect."

"Witnesses? That sounds…more dangerous than what you told us."

He notices her frown and sighs. "Everything we do in the force is dangerous. Especially me since I'm in the Special Action Force."

"Just take care of yourself for us okay? We won't be there to haul your ass off your desk when you start overworking."

"Hypocrite," he retorts with a dry look, "I had to drag you out of your lab to get something edible and tasty. Living off of hospital food must have destroyed your taste buds."

"For your information, the food in the hospital is nutritious and balanced. But I'll have to agree with you on the taste. It's too bland. And now that I've tasted real coffee, we really need to replace our coffee machines with good ones."

"It's nice to know I'm the one who enlightened you on the real world food." He smirks at her but then the smirk melts into a small smile. He's doing quite well on dismantling her. He takes her entire being apart, leaving her defenseless and vulnerable. This time he tears through her carefully built walls and unlocks the chains surrounding her heart. This time she lets him do it. Because this time, she may just be ready to let him in and let her feelings out in the open instead of hiding beneath the guise of friendship. But the entire process is still overwhelming so she does what she knows best in these kinds of situations.

His subtle hints of affection are unnerving and ethereal. She dreams of him reciprocating her feelings every time but when he shows hints that he may finally return it, circumstances force him to leave. That's right, she tells herself, he will leave soon. He will leave and may find a better woman suited for him, one that will be near him and not with thousands of miles between them. And no matter how she thinks it, it all ends up to one ending; her hurting and being rejected.

"Sakura are you alright?" he asks her after she hiccups rather loudly while walking back to the hospital.

"I'm –hic—fine Sasuke—hic—kun." She replies, a bit embarrassed about her hiccup fits. She feels a bit nauseous, like she's about to vomit, but she holds it in. Suddenly vomiting in front of him would only trigger unnecessary worry and suspicion from Tsunade and the others.

"If you say so." He nods and turns around to go back to the police station after they reach her office. She smiles back but as soon as he closes the door, she makes a beeline to the bathroom and empties out her stomach. Seeing the remains of her lunch would be better than this, she thinks grimly. The ominous black petals float in the toilet, tainting her mind with fear and dread. Sakura grips the sink tightly as her splashes her face with cold water to slap some consciousness in her in case this is just a dream. But life doesn't work that way and she's fully aware that she _does_ have the disease and she knows very well why she has it.

"Stupid Sasuke-kun," she sobs and her knees buckle, sending her down to the cold tiles, "stupid Hanahaki Byou, stupid petals, stupid love."

She wants to blame someone or just about anyone but she knows that it's not her fault and most especially, it's not Sasuke's fault. She can't force him to love her back and she can't force herself to just forget. She wants to blame her feelings but her feelings aren't something she can control as well. So she settles for blaming life for being shitty with her. She hugs her knees and makes herself absorb the terrible news. She can't die, that's for sure, and she still has a lot to do and she hasn't even achieved half of what she wants. She's too young but the disease knows no bound and chooses no status or age.

"Why me?" she asks to no one bitterly as tears slowly slide down her cheeks.

V.

Shizune finds her knee-deep in lab research and paperwork weeks later. She frowns at the pink haired doctor's actions and tries to get her out of the lab as much as possible but the other doctor is stubborn. It takes both of Shizune and Tsunade's scolding and convincing for her to go back home after two weeks of staying there. The busty blonde director dons her patented 'You're-crossing-the-line-there-so-stop-or-else' frown. The 'or else' part is one that Sakura does not want to cross so she stays quiet while Tsunade scolds her.

"Sakura," she calls her attention with a sigh. She's calm now that she got that out of her system. She knows that no matter how hard she scolds her apprentice, she won't stop because damn it, apparently, she has her own stubborn streak in her, "I know you want to help but this isn't the proper way. You're a doctor so you should know better than to risk your health."

"But Tsunade—!"

"And because of that, I'll be suspending you for a week Sakura."

"You can't do that!" She blurts out, a bit mad at Tsunade for doing this because all she wanted was to hasten the process but she also understands why her boss is doing so. But then again, she has every right to be upset right now because she's not only doing this for the patients but also for herself after puking continuously for the last few weeks.

"I'm sorry Tsunade-sama but…I need this."

"Sakura, is there something you're not telling us?"

Panic immediately surges in her mind as she tries to come up for an excuse. "I'm just…really worried for my patients," Okay, that isn't too far away from the truth itself, she then mentally berates herself for not telling the two but she has a feeling that things will take a turn for worse if she does tell them, "I just don't want to lose any more of them."

"Oh Sakura," Shizune still has a frown but it's less disappointed and leaning more towards sympathy, "this kind of thing requires everyone's efforts and not just yours. You don't have to shoulder everything."

"She's right. I'd be pretty offended if you didn't let us help you considering that the three of us are the best damn doctors around." Tsunade smirks and leans back.

"Alright, alright. I'll ask help next time." Phew, another obstacle avoided, she cheers in her mind.

"But you're still suspended."

"Dammit. But this will look bad on my resume Tsunade!"

"Too bad. You should've thought of that when you decided to live in the lab."

"Shizune, help me out here!"

"I'm sorry Sakura, why don't you think of this as an extended leave instead?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

The journey back to her house is grueling and exhausting, something she never thought before. I knew I should've called for a cab instead, she laments as she tries to stand upright in the train. How she manages to go home after a grueling day of work is lost on her memory. Her work has never been this heavy but since the sudden influx of the patients diagnosed with the Hanahaki Byou, not only her work and everybody else's too has practically tripled. Conspiracy theories are appearing, the media is going nuts over this hype and business corporates are taking advantage of the situation, thus increasing the cursed paperwork. She remembers her walk with Sasuke weeks ago and blushes. During that time, she didn't even notice how tired she actually was. The only thing running in her mind at that time was that she was with Sasuke and he's escorting her back home and how nice it was to let go of the stress even if it was just for a few minutes. Oh well, that's love.

Look how that turned out for you, an ugly voice reminds her. She groans and tries to get it off her mind but then the dreadful feeling of something coming up her throat is there again and she tries to hold it back. She fumbles in her step and almost falls over if it weren't for her reflexes acting up and grabbing the pole. A few people throw her concerned looks but she smiles at them and they return to what they were doing. She can't wait to go home. The trip to and from her house to the hospital is approximately fifteen minutes by train, twenty by walking and ten minutes by cab, that is if there is no traffic. But then again Kakashi has passed on his miser tendencies to her so she tries to walk or catch the train as much as possible.

She reaches her stop after a few minutes and she all but stumbles out the door, almost dropping her bag. The nausea comes back and hits her like a truck so she sits at the nearest bench. But when she looks up, she feels a lot sicker and she almost throws up.

There is Sasuke on the other side of the station with a red haired woman. The latter's arm is hooked with the former and she cuddling up with him. Sasuke looks impeccably good in casual clothin, like a Greek Adonis only with a terrible brain to mouth filter, like his best friend. She can feel the taste of petals again in her throat when the redhead leans her head on his shoulder. She unconsciously rubs her arms and shivers and looks away. The autumn wind isn't the only thing making her cold.

"Oh…" she whispers to herself as the train arrives and she sees them enter. She feels tears welling up in her eyes but she wipes it away before it could even fall.

When she arrives home, she kicks her shoes away and immediately runs to the bathroom. The next few minutes are spent with her puking her guts out. After she's certain she may have vomited her intestines too, she goes to her bed and thinks. Sakura doesn't sleep, she can't sleep. Not with all these happening in her life.

With that revelation, her death is as sure as hell, if it was a legal document, it would be complete with stamps, seals and signatures even. She knows she will die if she doesn't find an alternate cure. She can't die; she doesn't want to die, not now. Now that she's in the comfort of her bed and alone, she lets her tears fall and her walls to break. She doesn't try to stop them. God, why her? What kind of cruel, sick joke is this on her life? The doctor who is trying to find the cure ends up with the disease. It sounds like some clichéd rom com and medical drama combined into one.

She's mad at life for giving her this shit. She's mad at whoever created this disease because of all things, why the fuck did they have to make the cure something so simple yet also complicated. But most of all, she's mad at herself for even thinking that she has a chance. Why the fuck did she even think he'll reciprocate her feelings? She was 12 back then and hopelessly, irrationally in love with him and not once did he show even an ounce of hint that he sees her as something more than a friend even when she poured her heart out to him. But most of all she's furious at herself for still loving him— _fuck it hurtshurtshurts_ —despite the fact that this love is also the bane of her existence, literally. If there is one thing she can never ever do, it's to blame all of this to him and hate him because she knows that Sasuke never meant for this to happen and that he cherishes her, even if it is just as a friend, and with all the shit that has happened in his life, he doesn't deserve anymore of it.

A thought appears in her mind but she immediately shakes it off. There is no way she'll do _that_. She would never take the easy way out. Not when she can still find another alternative. And also because regardless of how excruciating it is to experience one-sided love, it's also a terribly wonderful feeling. The giddiness and adrenaline rush one feels when seeing their love and the ups and downs…she can't trade that. So she decides that once this week is over, she'll immediately go back to her lab and work her ass off even harder. But for now, she'll try to make the best of this and gather data alone. Her friends can _never_ find outabout this.

Especially not Naruto and Sasuke. She can imagine it already. If somehow Naruto finds out, he'll be devastated. He'll bargain and bargain even when the odds against them are gigantic. He'll still say, " _You can Sakura-chan! I'll save you if it's the last thing I'll do. It's a promise of a lifetime._ " She smiles faintly at the thought before another cough wrecks her throat and petals emerge from her mouth. But then he'll tell Sasuke, something she's trying really hard to avoid.

Because if Sasuke finds out, he'll force himself to love her. He'll force himself to develop feelings and she doesn't want that. No matter how much it hurts and how much she wants him to, she wants him to be happy, even if it means giving it up to the redhead. If…If she can't give that to him, she'll be perfectly content to leave him in the hands of another, especially when her time is ticking.

" _I'll make sure Sakura goes home and not back to the hospital."_

" _Take care of yourself."_

" _Sakura, thank you—"_

" _Sakura."_

Black petals leave her mouth as her thoughts go down that dark path and her system finally surrenders to sleep. Her bed is filled with black dahlia petals, as if they are thorns crowning her, mocking her. Her pillow is still wet and stained with tears. The first time she sleeps in her own bed for weeks and it's filled with symbols of death and unrequited love.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"So have you heard of the latest rumors?"

"What? What is it?"

"This is really new, like _new_ new. We got reports from eye-witnesses themselves that Uzumaki Karin—"

"Whoa, whoa! Uzumaki Karin, like the cousin of the politician Uzumaki Naruto, son of previous president, Namikaze Minato? That Karin?"

" _Yes Mitsuki_ , that Karin is the one I'm talking about. A few weeks ago, there has been news about death threats against her but it has never been confirmed. Anyway, we've dragged this long enough. Uzumaki Karin, was spotted with a hot, mystery man in the train."

"Oooh, he is hot, that duckbutt hair though—"

The chatter of the people in the airport drowns out the news and she's really thankful for it. She stands up to leave when her phone rings. She has planned on going back here months ago but since this opportunity for a vacation came up, she decides to take advantage of it. She does not stop walking even when she sees the picture of them in another television. After all, that image has been burned into her mind.

"Passengers of flight JW-8476 to Sunagakure, thank you for flying with Konoho Airlines, enjoy your day."

 **[ [ [ [ ] ] ] ]**

A/N. I forgot what they say when the plane has arrived and they're calling for the passengers so I just changed to them landing lol. Pardon me if you find some consistencies, English isn't really my first language so tell me what I should improve on next time. And yes, this is a two chapter story. I'm not really good with medical mumbo-jumbo either so I tried on researching what could possibly make the Hanahaki Byou dangerous. I also added a few twists here and there to the AU since this AU isn't really that much explored.

Hanahaki Byou

A disease of the human system that cough up flowers due to severe one-sided love. Its infection route is through contact with vomited flowers. In order to fully recover the disease, the one's love must be fulfilled.


End file.
